OK, let's get my facts straight:
Dogs are not people. Dogs are not children. Dogs eat doggy treats, also peanut butter, but that sticks to their gums and stuff. Dogs will lick your feet, even between the toes. Dogs like to smell places that people do not like to smell.
Still, you know, dogs have that doggishly trusting potential in a relationship, dogs will meet you at least half-way if you treat 'em right, and dogs always look up to you.
Be the person your dog thinks you are.