The "attack goose" concept isn't well known outside a small circle of specialized breeders and savvy owners who don't mind stretching the envelope…
Here you see evidence of a satisfied owner who is using his highly-trained goose to ensure that a certain door is reserved for his own, exclusive use….
Caution: these geese eat only raw meat, but owners report that small portions are sufficient, and for the first several weeks or even months after you purchase your attack goose, the neighborhood fauna will pretty much keep your animal satisfied if you permit it to hunt at night.
To learn more about how to acquire your AGC-registered attack goose, call 1-555-YER-DUCK.
p.s. the phone number is an inside joke, ask the operator at It's Not Your Daddy's Goose, Inc., for an explanation…
...on being hooptiously drangled...
Kit Carson said it....
18th century advice about oysters...
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